The Long John Silvers Lover & the Cop Hater

The Long John Silvers Lover & the Cop Hater

I’ve been accused of saying things that I’ve never even said once. One time I was accused of being a supporter of Long John Silvers, the nasty fried fish fast-food dump. I have never been a supporter of Long John Silvers. In fact, I hate Long John Silvers. I hate Long John Silvers so much I am about to vomit thinking about it. It is the most disgusting place on Earth next to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch and my dog’s mouth after he just got done licking himself.

I always joke about eating there because other people think it is disgusting and watching other people gross out about Long John Silvers makes me happy. So you can imagine how I felt when I was accused of being a fan of Long John SHITTERS! I was livid. People made fun of me for it. I felt like I was back in middle school where everyone made fun of me because I didn’t know what a BJ was. I hate my middle school years too.

I was accused of being a Long John lover because I said a sarcastic comment about eating their once and I guess the person I was talking to couldn’t pick up my professional level of sarcasm. This miscommunication ruined me. I said one thing and it was not interpreted the way I intended it. It frustrated the heck out of me. This is probably how Quentin Tarantino feels right now.

Creator of “Pulp Fiction”, Quentin Tarantino, is accused of calling police officers “murderers” after participating in a rally to protest against police brutality Saturday, October 24, 2015 in New York.

Now, the New York Police Department and the Los Angeles Police Department are boycotting Tarantino’s upcoming film, “The Hateful Eight.”

“All cops are not murderers,” director Tarantino said to the Los Angeles Times in his first public statements since the controversy started. “I never said that. I never even implied that.”

“And their message is very clear. It’s to shut me down. It’s to discredit me. It is to intimidate me,” Tarantino said. “It is to shut my mouth, and even more important than that, it is to send a message out to any other prominent person that might feel the need to join that side of the argument.”

I feel for Tarantino. Tarantino doesn’t believe all police officers are murderers. He is more like, “Hey, this police brutality needs to stop. It is not okay.” He is using a technique called denial, or what I like to call, “Hell no, I did not say that!” If the Django creator is telling the truth, denial is his best option to avoid this PR scandal.

The brilliant director pissed off the police force and now has to fix this mess that erupted. He is doing it by correcting what people think he said and replacing it with the truth. He is also going to release an opinion piece, according to CinemaBlend.

I believe Tanschino (my pet name for Quentin Tarantino that sounds like maraschino cheery) is taking an egocentric ethical approach, whatever has the best outcome for him in the end is good.

He is doing everything I did when I was accused of being a Long Johns Silvers lover and killing a major controversy (yes controversy) by addressing what is true and what is a lie. It is one of the best things you can do in a reputation image crisis like this.

My main point, I hate Long John Silvers and all of its existence and Quentin Tarantino never said police officers were murderers.

Liar, Liar, Plants For Hire!

Liar, Liar, Plants For Hire!

When my mother and father are yelling at me, or what they to call parenting, to go to grad school, save my money, cut my hair and be straight, I tell them, “Yes. Okay. You’re right. Sorry for not listening to you sooner,” in order to get them to stop bothering me so I can go back to doing what I want.

And when they like to follow up with me and my path to righteousness, I follow up with, “Everything is going well. Love you.”

See my motives? I tell my parents what they want to hear so they won’t get angry and pry into my private life. Some people see it as lying. I see it as lying too. I am diverting myself from a problem by agreeing with something I do not agree with.

Let’s compare my methods of avoiding problematic situations to how Public Relation professionals avoid problems. It’s the same. Flat out same.

PR people want to focus on honesty, fairness, and loyalty, but realistically they adopt the appearance of acting ethical. In other words, PR folks pretend to be more ethical.

Shannon Bowen, a writer for PRWeek and PR Ethics professor at the University of South Carolina, wrote an article titled, ‘We are professional manipulators’ – PR pros, are we lying to ourselves?” In it she references two documents where she found PR professionals admitting they lie. One of her sources was from the 23rd International Public Relations Research Symposium, BledCom, and the other source came from a professor’s paper at the The University of Pretoria, Ronel Rensburg, “Lying to protect the organization: An occupational hazard?”

A PR professional from BledCom said, “Sure I lie, we are professional manipulators. That is what we do.” “I am the one really pulling the strings.”

Rensburg said, “Of course I lie ­– I lie because my CEO expects it. I lie to the media and my staff. I even have to lie to the CEO because I know more than he does.” Rensburg continued, “I have to lie to cover my CEO’s [butt]. If I don’t lie and make it all look better, he and a lot of others will suffer. So I lie. A lot.”

It’s funny because here we have PR professionals saying that they lie, but their career is devoted to being truthful and honest. PRSA, the world’s largest association for PR professionals states, “Public relations professionals have a special obligation to practice their craft ethically, with the highest standards of truth, accuracy, fairness and responsibility to the public. The PRSA Code of Ethics provides a practical set of standards to follow in this regard.”

Do PR practitioners lie?

Yes.

Do ALL PR practitioners lie?

No.

PR folks who use a two-dimensional symmetrical PR communication system value honesty and transparency because they are strengthening relationships as a business communicates with its clients and vice-versa.

You will see that governmental agencies, non-profit organizations and heavily regulated businesses use symmetric public relations because those organizations depend on open communication, which makes it harder to lie and fake honesty. Ever lie to your best friend? The person that talks with you daily will always be able to tell if you are lying.

Profit-driven companies will take an asymmetrical PR approach because they are more focused on getting people buy their product than creating a relationship with their customers. These types of organizations are going to be the least honest and hardest to call out lies because they do not proved means of open communication between the customer and the company.

I guess that’s why I lie to my parents… Because I am focused on getting them to do one thing… accept me.

WHY BRUSHING MY TEETH IS SO MUCH FUN

WHY BRUSHING MY TEETH IS SO MUCH FUN

I just want to be able buy something and know what I am buying. Does that make sense? If I go to the store to buy a chunk of ham to make my own Canadian bacon, I do not want come home and find that I bought tofu containing four percent of real ham. Disgusting. Have you had tofu? Tasteless, like lightly salted rice cakes. Leave that stuff for models.

Speaking of models, I don’t care if companies use hairless European Petri-dish-made humans to showcase pants. I’ll get em’ if I like em’. And I’ll probably get the pants too. But they also have to look good on me, which is mostly always. And the same goes with the pants. (Unless I ate a lot of bacon that day, then I don’t look good in anything.)

Advertisers are trying to do one thing. Sell. How do they do that? By showing us how miserable and pathetic we are without their product. Have you seen toothpaste commercials? I never knew how pointless and boring my life was without Crest. From what I have seen in their commercials, if you buy Crest, you buy a lifetime of happiness and laughter. I never though about laughing while I brush my teeth. But since I bought Crest, I laugh all the time. I am having the time of my life preventing my teeth from cavities!

The only obligation advertisers have is to NOT blatantly lie about the product. Don’t sell me bacon-flavored potato chips that prevent cavities when they are actually rice cakes that will ruin my teeth. Advertisers just need to be truthful in what they are saying. Don’t take a consequential approach in marketing. Do not lie to sell a product. Be truthfully creative in your selling process.

Here’s an idea: Show a close-up of a delicious juicy hunk of beefcake’s Crested washed teeth biting into a bacon flavored potato chip with his shirt off. This will get the endorphins going. Then hottie McHot pants turns to the camera and says, “Mmm, now that’s bringing home the bacon,” or something clever like that.

It’s fine to add sex, humor and obvious exaggeration to a product. It’s being creative and telling a story. Advertisers get people to think. That’s what advertising is supposed to do. Just don’t lie about the product. It’s unethical. It’s misleading. And most importantly, it breaks the trust and ruins the relationship between the business and its customers.

I do not think successful advertisers and businesses are breaking their obligation to be truthful to their audiences about the purpose of their product. Are they embellishing the reality of it? Yes. But are they lying about its purpose and creation? Well, the truth is, I really don’t know until I hear about it on the Google or from the conversations at my grandmother’s poker tournaments.

I’VE HAD IT – BUT I CAN’T AFFORD IT

I’VE HAD IT  – BUT I CAN’T AFFORD IT

You couldn’t pay me enough to think right now. I am stressed, tired and unmotivated. I am asked to right a blog and I have no idea what to write about nor do I want to give the time to write it.

“As public relations and marketing professionals, writing is part of every day life,” said Rafael Sangiovanni, a PR professional. “So when you find yourself slamming your head against the proverbial wall, the creative part of your brain can feel paralyzed by frustration.”

In the life of public relations, you can’t quit when the job gets tough. How do public relations professionals do it? Is it drugs? Alcohol? Therapy? Or do they write out their feelings in hopes of something brilliant might come from it. You know… like this blog. Rafael Sangiovanni lists six helpful tricks to persevere through writer’s block right here.

But maybe it’s not writers block a PR professional has to overcome. It could just be the lack of motivation to care. And this could be dangerous. Could you imagine a careless PR professional assisting with a crisis? What a nightmare. One of the job requirements in PR is to never be depressed.

A PR professional relies on their charm and friendly personality to make connections and communicate. “I’d say there’s a soul role for all of us in PR,” Says Samantha Howard, freelance communications consultant. “Left brain/right brain, big thinkers/happy doers. From the research and planning tacticians; to the relationships builders, the brand advocates, the cheer leaders; From the big picture thinkers, the strategists, the creatives; to the analyzers, asking all the ‘what ifs’ that underscore credible crisis communication plans.”

A PR person reflects the personality of Tigger, not Eeyore.

So how does one motivate oneself to become excited and passionate when they are momentarily slumpish?

Write about your feelings. Laugh. Tell someone who is important to you, “I love you.” These tips work. Try it and see for yourself. The greatest thing about humans is our ability to act on emotions, the trick is learning how to control them.

A Glorified Paid Social Butterfly 

A Glorified Paid Social Butterfly 

I am a Woo! WooHoo!

This means I am totes presh and most likely to be homecoming king. This also means I am very good at sarcasm.

This is also the intro to my LinkedIn.

If I were to run for prom king my campaign slogan would be, “Vote for Justin, he knows everyone,” because that’s what people saaaay ooh hoo. (T-SWIFT’S SONG Shake It Off).

but I cant help

As an intern in the PR world, I have come to find out, Public Relations specialists are paid for their contacts and getting those contacts to do favors for their clients.

My boss at my internship told me to create a media list of news writers who specialize in the music industry. I found names, emails and phone numbers for 78 media writers.

Come to find out, the list I created could be sold for thousands of dollars because that is what PRs do. They buy, create, sell and use media lists containing contacts who will potentially write about your client.

“Back in the old days, good PR experts had a physical Rolodex worth its weight in gold. They built relationships with the media over time, and were able to call on them with story ideas. If you don’t have that kind of a list, you’re going to have to start building it on your own,” Said John McDougall, an expert in business development.

I love PR because it is a glorified paid social butterfly connecting the community.

butter fly

But in order to connect the community together, you need a good personality. That is how you make friends.

“I am trying to imagine you with a personality,” one of my favorite sarcastic saying.

The Myers-Briggs Test says ENFJs are good personalities for PR, which I am of course, hair flip.

“People of this type [ENFJ] “¦create goodwill and”¦ tend to be: friendly, outgoing, and enthusiastic; affectionate articulate, and tactful; highly empathetic but easily hurt; creative and original; decisive and passionately opinionated, productive, organized, and responsible. The most important thing to ENFJs is their relationships, and the opportunity to communicate and connect with others.”

PR is dependent on making friends. Without connections, the job would not exist. A good PR specialist personality should be charming in order to make friends who you can ask for favors.

but I am sure you are

Vote for me for your homecoming king!

                                                -XOXO

                                    Your Best Friend

Smoking Is Such A Drag

The first time I smoked a cigarette it fell out of my fingers and into a muggy puddle. I tried to do the sophisticated blow of the smoke and the nonchalant side ash flick like my mother would do after she chewed me out for not cleaning the kitchen. It was a combo I had no business attempting in my first try at becoming chain smoker. No one prepared me for burning sensation in my throat and the painful coughing that caused my eyes to water excessively when smoking for the first time. It was a warm welcoming.

My friends looked at me with the utmost disgust like I just defecated in front of them and insulted them with my breathing. Gasping for air, holding onto the little bit of life I had left, I reached for my friend’s margarita to cool down the fire burning inside my lungs. She grabbed the glass and said, “Good God Girl, get a grip and take it like a man,” before I could grasp my sweaty jittery fingers around it.

Smoking use to be a casual thing that everyone did and now it gets 100 percent side eye (silent judgment) and so much shade (vocal judgment).

“Smoking can affect your job search and your career. It is unhealthy, and it can be a red flag for potential employers,” Michelle Yard, a writer for the Chron Blog, reported.

The media changed the persona of smoking tobacco from where it was 40 years ago.

Google smoking, you will find many articles and websites dedicated to helping you quit smoking.

Smoking has become the devil and America is here to save you from it.

But here is the thing, I hate that I feel so guilty for smoking. I hate that smokers get such a bad reputation. Public Relations can be your best friend or your worst nightmare. Thanks to PR, tobacco and smokers are seen as people with a problem.

To be honest. I don’t think smoking is not all that bad. I think the media is overreacting to smoking even the occasional cigarette.

But because of PR, it makes it seem as if social smoking is bad.

Canadian Health Ministry released a video for their anti-smoking campaign. The video draws a parallel with social smoking with social farting. The main woman in the video says, “Just because I fart at parties now and then, it doesn’t make me a farter.”

To see the video click here.

The video successfully makes people who socially smoke seem stupid.

Well I’ll be it, smoking is a drag.

There is no going back and making smoking seem Posh. The media and CDC have made their point; smoking will never be cool again.

Public Relations is typically seen as a strategic plan to build an image, but I am starting to realize it is also a powerful weapon that can destroy an entire industry.

The “N” Word – Get used to it.

The “N” Word – Get used to it.

There are words I get a lot and out of all them, the “N” word is by far the most insulting.

Receiving the “N” word hurts because it makes me inadequate or weak.

Pardon my French, but the “N” word I am talking about here is “No.”

No

I know, I hate that I said this word too, but I just had to get it off my chest. Please forgive me but you will come across the “N” word a lot in this blog.

I was told “No” a lot this week when I called car dealerships and asked if I could get in contact with their marketing representatives to give them more information about a blogger conference I am working on.

well-damn-gif

Eight times out of 10 I received, “Sorry ma’am, but I do not see a future prospect happening here, I am going to have to say NO.”

I AM NOT A MA’AM, I am a MAN, a Guy!

So not only do I get rejected, but I sound like a woman on the phone too.

I felt defeated. Here I am, a young PR woman working her way to become a professional and I can’t even charm my way in to get people to say “Yes.”

So after I ugly-cried in my defeat and ate a whole bucket of fried chicken and a tub of cookies dough ice cream I decided to google ways to be successful at crafted wallet making.

Forever-Alone-Eating-GIF

I can’t be successful in PR so I might as well make wallets for people who will be.

Then I remembered the valuable teachings from my father when I asked if he could put my training wheels back on my bike so I wouldn’t fall over. He said, “No. Justin you are 18-years-old, now get used to it.”

falling

 He was right. I needed to grow up. I need to get used to the word no.

Its_going_to_be_okay

“Every no I get puts me one closer to the yes I‘m looking for,” Mark Bryan, a professional salesman said.

In PR, professionals get used to rejection.

“Your pitch will miss more times than it hits, sometimes by a wide margin ­ just thicken your skin and accept it as the price of doing business,” said John Foster, a PR expert.

Being okay

The “N” word is nothing to be afraid of. Instead it should be the fuel to motivate you to work even harder to a “YES.”

It should be welcomed and used by everyone, unless it is the other-other “N” word, which should only be used amongst friends. Just kidding. NO. Don’t use it.

yeahok